How the Fuck Does Someone Date in Their 40s, Post Covid?
For the first time in years, I feel like I am in a place emotionally where dating could be an option again.
But… how? Who? Where? It is difficult enough, given I would not use conventional dating methods, given my previous occupation; far too much risk of being recognized, and targeted; and then if I do meet someone, there is the “conversation” that needs to happen around that.
Also, I’ve never really dated; most of my previous relationships were unconventional, to say the least, and more often than not, I just sorta fell into them. And even so, there is very little appeal to the idea of exploring casual dating. Cringe. Small talk makes me nauseous on the best of the days. Especially Post Covid, Imma be real with you, strangers kinda scare me right now.
So, here I am, considerably older, a little rounder, and in a strange Orwellian Post Covid World, how the hell do I meet someone?!
I’ve heard a ton of other singles talk about being lonely during Covid (and not just singles, I should disclaim but let’s stick to singles for the sake of this writing), and I avoided that conversation with the, “I am focused on work right now” but… I mean, I am over 40, I am not dead. I still have interest in sex, and intimacy. But I have had my share of open relationships, or the ‘FWB’ situation, and I am kinda over that. It’d be nice to share a life with someone again.
In days gone by, it was easy enough to meet someone through friends, or work, or the bar scene, the gym, the grocery store… but pretty much all of those things have long since dried up. And that was even Pre-Covid. Friends have moved away, I’ve worked remotely with a small team for years, I haven’t been to a bar in a couple of years now, I order pretty much everything online, and let’s not even talk about the gym, please and thank you…
And don’t get me wrong, it isn’t that there aren’t interested parties, but as anyone over 40 knows… they come with their own unique baggage. They aren’t ready, they are healing from past hurts, they want to get to a better place emotionally, etc. etc. And I get it! I was there too, for a long time. I get it. But that tells me, we ain’t it, at least not right now, and I have no interest in waiting for someone to decide I am worth taking a chance on. If you aren’t sure you want to take that leap, that’s a pretty good sign that you don’t want to take that leap.
So, single friends, I apologize for brushing you off when you wanted to have that talk. I wasn’t ready for it. I had some shit I had to sort and figure out, but here I am, I am ready to talk now, and I have to say… how the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? How are you coping with this? Please, gimme everything you got! What is dating like for 40+ in a Post Covid World?